Who am I? Who we are NOT is that little voice we hear in our heads. That voice that is always busy talking in our ears. We hear it anytime we are not acutely focused on something. It is the provider of positive thoughts as well as negative ones. It runs continuously, but that is not WHO we are. That voice is not what makes each of us unique.

Our minds are, obviously, incredibly complex, but it can be broken down pretty simply. Our senses are inputs. What we see, hear, taste, smell and feel are inputs that provide information to our brain. There, combined with years of previously accumulated information, thoughts are developed. Thoughts are vocalized by that voice that we hear in our heads. Who we are is what we do with those thoughts and how those thoughts manifest themselves as actions. So physically, we are a collection of inputs, producing thoughts, resulting in what we say and do. Who we are is what we say and do. Based on our input (senses), influences our output (action).

You can’t do everything the little voice you hear says to you. You can’t repeat with words everything the voice says. The action that results is the filter that determines the corresponding action. That filter is who we are. The words that we say and the actions we exhibit are the filtered result that demonstrates who we are.

Everything we do is initiated by collection of one or more thoughts. When I drive to the grocery store, I never turn left on Patterson Drive. Turning there is not part of the plan to get myself to the store. Consequently, I never think of turning there, so I can’t turn there. In fact, I might forget to turn where I am supposed to turn because of the conversation I am having in my head. I must think about, perhaps so slightly, what I am going to do before I do it.

Can I control the voice I hear in my head? Absolutely! Here is proof. My wife and I own and operate a motel. We have no employees, so everything that gets done there is done by us. I think about what we can do to increase occupancy, to reduce the amount of work that is needed by us. I think about how to improve the guest experience. Odds are, you never think about those things, like I never think about the most efficient way to stock shelves at the store or the most effective way to repair an aortic aneurysm. Those things are not part of my reality as motel operations are not part of yours. In other words, my inputs are what I see at the motel, what I hear from the guests, the data that drives the business. If you are a lawyer (pick the profession), you think about juries, judges, defendants, etc. Those different inputs result in a voice in your head that says different things to you than the voice in my head says to me. So, the voice is a function of the inputs, not of who you are.

This is good news. Let’s say I have been a couch potato and I have decided that I want to be in better shape. Last week, I didn’t exercise at all. How likely am I to think about working out on day 8? I probably won’t even forget because it didn’t cross my mind. Compare that with my fit friend who works out 5 days a week. Am I more likely or less likely to think about getting to the gym on day 8? Logically, I am less likely to think about that as my friend who frequents the gym every week. If we extrapolate further, let’s say that I normally get to the gym 3 days a week, but I want to up my game to 5 days a week. Based on the previous logic, I am more likely to think about working out on day 8 than I was when I was at 0, but not as likely as my friend who already goes 5 days a week. Remember, I can’t do something if I do not think about it first. So step one, is to think about what we want to do, and we are more likely to think about it since the inputs now include senses associated with working out.

To summarize this point, if I want to change what the voice in my head says, and/or change the output (my action), I need to change the inputs. My inputs (senses) still include operating a motel, but since I walked to the post office to get my mail today, I am more likely to think about doing that tomorrow. By virtue of having that thought (the voice), the possibility exists that I will actually do it. And the more I do it, the more I will think about and give myself the chance of following through with it.

Now, if we can control or at least influence what that voice is saying to us, that proves that the voice is not who we are. If the voice is telling you that you are not good enough, that doesn’t make it true. It only means that the voice is saying what it observes from the inputs you receive. If I told you I wanted to be more like Jesus, what would you suggest I do? You would probably tell me to study the Bible and read other historical accounts that describe what Jesus did. Remember, who we are is what we do, and what we do is the filtered result of our thoughts. You can choose to go to work or rob a bank to be able to pay the bills, but what you do is who you are.

We have more control over our thoughts and actions than perhaps some people may think we do. If you have in your mind the person that you think you should be or want to be, you can at least get closer to that person by manipulating the inputs that precede the thoughts. Thus, providing the possibility for the actions that you desire. Still, ultimately, you are the filter; you can choose to do or not, but if the thought doesn’t exist, you can’t do it.

Finally, I think there is a limitation to this realization. I say that what makes you who you are is what you say and do. I also think that one can subtract from that your regrets and mistakes. We all make mistakes and we all have regrets. We all wish we would have done something that we didn’t do. Mistakes and regrets also do NOT define who you are. As long as our senses are collecting information, we are learning. Learning means we can more accurately predict the output with the given inputs. In essence, our filter (you) improves over time. Yes, you improve over time.

In summary, if you want to do something more, get started with any size step. The smallest step will mean you’ll think about it more, giving you a chance of doing it more. If you want to do something less, you need to think about it less. If you think about it less, you will do it less, and the less you do it, the less you can think about it. If you want a desired output (action), you have to control the input (control what your senses can sense). You have the ability to change the voice in your head or change your actions, even the smallest step will alter the result for good or for bad. And it is never too late to start.